spicing things up @7:56 AM Comments: 0
I have just spent the past hour customizing my multiply account. Instead of studying for the NMAT tomorrow, here I am, spending some cash in a net cafe, surfing the net and suddenly deciding to transfer blogging in this account..Roses, they smell good and look good but to some extent they become overrated, common and boring. Black roses, I haven't really seen one but I bet it would look good. I like roses, the way they're supposed to symbolize a lot of things. Love, friendship, purity, etc. These black and white roses symbolize my loneliness. Seventeen years of living and still loveless. How pathetic. Though I am happy with my life right now, I still yearn for that special someone to whom I could be pathetic and overrated comfortable without putting on fake smiles and fake laughter. That someone to whom I could be strong and vulnerable at the same time. This is slowly turning out to be an emo-based entry so I'll stop here. I still have to study for NMAT. The pressure of getting a 90+ percentile is getting to me.
spicing things up @8:48 AM Comments: 0
Happy things have happened and yet I'm not satisfied with the elation that was initiated by these events. Today's the first Monday of the sembreak that I'll be spending in Manila. In turned out that I didn't have to take any final exam since I was exempted from taking them. Haha, guess I still have brains after all. So far from my grades that I know I'm not really doing all that bad.. Not excellent or anything, just not bad.***My mom informed yesterday that two of my Aunts will go to Singapore this week and will first stay here in Manila to prepare for their flight. She commanded me to visit them in their hotel tomorrow just for old time's sake and also because one of those Aunts is apparently helping me go through college. She didn't have to order me to go there, I have been, after all, dying to see a relative to remind me that I still have a family. Hopefully I'll get treated to a shopping spree tomorrow. I am a nephew they haven't seen for a long time.***Dumbledore's gay, at least that what J.K. Rowling said according to this article. She is the author after all.***beep...
spicing things up @2:48 PM Comments: 0
I feel tired...In every freaking context that you could think of: I feel tired. A question asked by my room mate made me realize this. "Ano bang nangyayari sa'yo?".. Oo nga, what the hell is fucking wrong with me. I feel tired. I am tired.I'm tired of waking every single morning, taking a bath and going to school to face dull moments inside the classroom. I'm tired of supposedly enriching experiences provided by teachers. Those freaking teachers are nothing but people who make fun of my lack of knowledge in their presumed expertise. Teachers who stand in front looking all tall and proud with their Buddha-complexes oozing out of their noses. Teachers who do nothing but provide misery in my already fucked-up world.I'm tired of walking the same route every morning. I'm tired of the same loud environment that Malate never fails to give me. I'm tired of the familiar corners that I have to take and the familiar guards who ask for my ID. I'm tired of the familiar taste of food from the cafeterias in university. Three sems and now and so fed up of the usual nugget burger, the usual carbonara and the usual medium milo.I'm tired of the familiar nerdy environment that I have been living for the past decade. I am tired trying to catch up, to compete and to feel that I know something. I am tired of the usual people who do nothing but study, and study and make me feel stupid in every freaking sense. Their mouths frothing of terms that I can't even mumble. I am tired of the same faces. Not to be rude or anything, but nothing enriching has happened to me with these faces. I miss the old ones already.I'm tired of studying. Studying has been my life for as long as I can remember and now, I feel like I'm already done with it. I don't have any fight anymore in me. I'm tired of fighting against the odds of failing every useless subject that "smarter" people have created. I'm tired of not being able to snooze complete and healthy sleeps. Studying used to be fun, but now it's not. It's just plain tiresome. I'm tired of overusing my neurons for what I perceive a waste of my time.I'm tired of this familiar feeling of emptiness and loneliness. Spending long periods of time alone has made me feel like everything is just going to get worse and nothing's gonna get better. I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm sick and tired.I'm tired of having nothing to look forward each day. Tired of this feeling of uselessness. Tired of having nothing to cherish. Tired of boredom. Tired of mediocrity. Tired of being unsatisfied. Just... Tired.
spicing things up @11:20 AM Comments: 0
Funny how there are a lot of instances when people say "Oh, this is such a bloggable moment," and they do end up blogging about it. I'm not one of those people. I say, "Oh, this is such a bloggable moment," and I end up forgetting about it. Probably it's induced by my useless PC that hasn't been doing anything but take up 50% of my table space and gather dust (and yeah, become a shelf for some other useless stuff).So to deviate from that oh so pathetic act of mine, this is me trying to blog about things that I do think are worth blogging about.***No More Tour for Me...I decided a few days ago to back out from the planned US Tour of my choir. Besides the fact that I don't have a passport yet and VISA application's starting next week, it's just too much of a hassle for me. After receiving my first ever failed exam in OrgChem, I realize how much I have been lazying around with my academic life, which is the main reason why I'm here in Manila. Not to mention the fact that I'll be in medschool next year and that would really yield a lot of money from my family. A lot of things are going in and I think adding the US Tour would be too much for me, considering I'm already on the brink of a nervous breakdown.***My first Medal from UP...Last Friday the SSWC (the PE Dept.) of UP-Manila had its inter-class Table Tennis tournament and yours truly was one of the representatives of our section (HEG). Me and Joan (for mixed doubles), Serine (Women's Singles) and Dingdong (Men's Singles) played our best for pride and honor for our class. Fortunately, we placed second overall.. WEE!!! It was such an unexpected win considering that not one of us players were really formally trained in Table Tennis and only Dingdong and I consider it as one of our sports. It was pretty cool when we played our best without expecting anything and ended up winning something. They gave us these large silver medals, probably the only one I'll ever receive from UP considering my very dismal academic performance. Haha, then the next day we had our BioLab exam which completely took away the euphoria of the win.***Staying (yet again) in Manila for three weeks alone...I don't know but for some reason, I feel like my family doesn't even miss my absence. I guess it was pretty much a non-verbal agreement but my mom confirmed it a few weeks ago. She asked me when classes would end and I gave her the last day of the sem but she said she was asking the one before Christmas. That settled it for me, I am not going home for the Sem Break and it's such a sad thing since I would be missing out on a lot of things. First would be the usual Kalag-kalag activities that our family does during the break and this would be the second time that I'll be missing it. Then there's Teetin's debut and Sara's birthday that I would be missing since I'm stuck here in Manila. *sigh***School's a bitch...These past few days have been so hard for me physically and mentally. The exams just keep pouring in and they don't test the things that we learned but rather slap us with things that we don't know. Now, it seems failure is not such a bad thing after all. It's not like I would die or anything..It's 11:10 am and I'm here in this net cafe and we have BioLab exams and a BioLec quiz tomorrow.. Great... My life's such a paradise...
spicing things up @10:42 AM Comments: 0
Please click this link: xpangoI want a new phone...
spicing things up @3:19 PM Comments: 0
Ate Jamine (this super hot and super bait medchoir member) announced during our last choir practice yesterday that Dean Roxas (the almighty dean of the College of Medicine) gave us his blessing regarding our plans about having a US Tour this coming May 2008. Now this gave me mixed feelings of excitement, anxiety and hopeful/lessness. Coming from a not-so well-off family from a not-so urbanized hometown, it's really not a surprising fact about me that I haven't been to the States, or any other foreign country for that matter. I do not have a Passport nor a VISA to somehow help me in joining this tour.My parents, not-surprisingly, have no idea about the stuff that I do in my org. They don't know that I belong to a choir that has already received a number of awards here and abroad. They don't know that we do concerts and actually earn from them. They don't know that we sing for almost any event that we could possibly do. What they do know is that I belong to a choir. Being a member, it's somehow expected of me to do whatever it takes just so that I could participate in the upcoming tour. Now here's thing, I need 91,000 Php for fare, paperwork and interstate fees. Not to mention the money I need to process for my passport. On top of this all, I haven't really told my parents about this tour. So now, the million dollar question is that, how am I supposed to come up with that amount of money by next year?Impossible is just a word, so says that TV-add. But for a kid like me (yup, still a kid here, not yet an adult) who lives on 200 pesos a day and could barely save to buy himself a pair of briefs, 91000 is a huge amount of money to come up with. Now I'm thinking of just blending into the support group and wait for more bountiful years to come where I can hopefully join the next tour. *sigh, such a sad sad fate.
spicing things up @11:19 PM Comments: 0
About Me Name: Nil... indeed nothing... just pathetic me Location: Malate, Manila, Metro Manila, Philippines Ako si Nil. A 17-year old nerd who looks old for his age. 66 in. tall (I think). Almost 60 kg. Someone who thinks he's fat, which he is. Can't control his hair from turning into locks of strands from the dead. Has a wide array of taste with music, movies, food, etc. Loves to sing for his pleasure. Thinks he can sing. Writes a lot. Loves to study (Blech!). A scholar ng bayan under the IntarMed Program. Soon to be a medstudent of the UP-College of Medicine (Oh Itanghal Mutyang UP Medisina!!!). Sings for the college as a member of the UP MedChoir. A microscopic dot in this Universe. Please tag! :) View my complete profile
Ako si Nil. A 17-year old nerd who looks old for his age. 66 in. tall (I think). Almost 60 kg. Someone who thinks he's fat, which he is. Can't control his hair from turning into locks of strands from the dead. Has a wide array of taste with music, movies, food, etc. Loves to sing for his pleasure. Thinks he can sing. Writes a lot. Loves to study (Blech!). A scholar ng bayan under the IntarMed Program. Soon to be a medstudent of the UP-College of Medicine (Oh Itanghal Mutyang UP Medisina!!!). Sings for the college as a member of the UP MedChoir. A microscopic dot in this Universe. Please tag! :)
View my complete profile
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